Added: Nasser Hughes - Date: 17.10.2021 22:04 - Views: 18623 - Clicks: 8452
I have a desire to be adored by men. As an adolescent, these expectations ran through my head constantly. Pathetic, right? I felt happy and successful when I had at least one or two guys crushing on me. As a feminist, it pains me to admit that I got so much validation from male attention. In college, I shed some of these unhealthy needs and fell in love with someone who accepts the real me — both my beauty and my flaws. We make each other laugh. He makes me feel desired and beautiful.
Is this something all people in relationships contend with? Will I grow out of it? Is there something missing from my relationship? How do I block out societal expectations of women and continue to grow into a more genuine person who gains validation and happiness from within?
This is the mind-set that a patriarchal society enforces, one deed to keep women from defining success in ways unrelated to male adoration. It will certainly help to steer clear of entertainment that traffics in these toxic messages. How did the men and women in your family define success? What messages did you receive from friends?
But the role it plays in your life is to keep you from identifying and pursuing forms of validation that derive from your intellectual, professional and creative achievements. But the real question is who you are beyond your relationships to men. SA : What Cheryl is saying — and I second her — is that we see in your letter a person bravely reckoning with her indoctrination. These sexual, emotional and physical demands would begin to extend to social demands: payment for care of the elderly, parental leave, child care, etc. The force of female desire would be so great that society would truly have to reckon with what women want, in bed and in the world.
It involves you. It has to be killed, one feminist at a time. CS : So how do you neutralize these longings you have for validation via male sexual desire? Only then will you see them for the false stories they are — and be able to replace them with new, true ones.
Undertake a journey of self-discovery. Read feminist books, discuss your feelings with friends or a therapist, journal about the values you absorbed about gender, beauty, success, self-worth and love. The more you do, the more you will become.Man in need of attention
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15 s He's Addicted To Attention (So Do NOT Give Him Yours)