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My first time bottoming was a nightmare come to life. I was in pain the entire time, not to mention super self-conscious about my partner being all up in my rear end. If you're not familiar with the term, "bottoming" refers to being on the receiving end of anal sex, meaning the "bottom" is the partner putting the penis or dildo inside of them. The person sticking said penis or dildo inside the bottom is referred to as the "top.

How do so many men—gay, bi, and straight—derive pleasure from having a penis or dildo inside of them? Eventually, I had a girlfriend who got me into it. She loved anal on herself, too and taught me what I had been doing wrong. After a few experimental sessions, I finally got what bottoming was all about.

It felt heavenly. My orgasms were so much stronger with something in my butt than without. I had no idea how to bottom, which makes sense. Alas, there are not that many resources for men who want to learn how to bottom, but have no idea where to begin. We also spoke to legendary gay porn stars Boomer Banks and Ty Mitchell for tips on how to bottom.

Two, it feels really good for the bottom. You also want to start by inserting smaller things—like fingers or small butt plugs—before taking a full-on penis or dildo. Note: Any toy that goes up your butt needs to have a flared base—you don't want Naughty Personals bttm boy looking for getting stuck up there!

If you stretch beyond your capacity, you can cause damage to the region—most commonly in the form of anal fissures or hemorrhoids. Using yoga-style meditative breathing can assist in pelvic floor relaxation, explains Goldstein. Use big, deep, full-bellied breaths. You can start by inserting a lubed-up finger, but make sure to cut your nails extremely short and file them down.

Goldstein recommends using anal dilating kits. Dilating kits, in essence, are a few dildos that range in size. You start with the smallest toy, lather it up with as much water-based lube as you possibly can, and then put it inside of you. You breathe with it inside of you, and get used to the sensation. Goldstein recommends leaving it inside of you for seconds before removing it.

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Then reapply lube if necessary and do it again. He suggests doing 10 reps per set and sets per session.

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Only after inserting a dilation toy with ease, can you move onto the next size. Dilation kits are absolutely great, but they're also not necessary for every person who wants to bottom. It should also feel really good! Just make sure to go slow, use a lot of lube, and breathe through any discomfort.

Mild discomfort you can breathe through. Pain, you should not. That's a hard stop. You need to identify which things help you relax, which movements make you clench, and how to breathe, he says.

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Watch some porn that really turns you on. It feels medical and not pleasurablewhich can make it difficult to relax. Bottom with someone you can really communicate with. This is even more important if you're new to bottoming. With your partner, start slowly with fingers or a small toy, and use a lot of lube. It's safe to use with condoms along with water-based lubes. Oil-based lubes, on the other hand, can erode latex. When you start to have penetrative sex, do it from a position where you control the thrusting. I often start in the cowgirl position, and tell them to not move.

That way you control how far the penis or dildo goes inside of you. One of the biggest fears of bottoming is accidental poop. While pooping during anal sex is by no means the end of the world, there are still ways to minimize risk. The most common way is to clean your anus using a douche.

The two main ways you can clean your asshole is to douche using a little bulb, where you squeeze clean water into your ass, or using a hose that you can connect to your shower head, and insert that into your behind often referred to as a shower enema. With either device, you lightly pump the water into your asshole and squeeze it up inside of you. Note : Please just use clean water. Don't add any oils or scents! You let it sit inside of you for a few seconds. Mitchell says he counts to Then you expel the water from you. You keep on doing this until you can expel completely or at least relatively clean water.

You also don't need to squirt that much water into your behind. You're not trying to completely fill it up. You're just rinsing it out. A note about using a shower hose. I've done that and have never screamed louder in my entire life. One of the very annoying things about douching and enemas is that it can cause damage to the the anal region if you douche too much. Some studies have shown that a pH-balanced isotonic solution, as opposed to regular water, can potentially Naughty Personals bttm boy looking for clean anal tissue without damaging the cells as much.

So if you find yourself douching frequently, it might be worth it to invest in an isotonic solution, like Future Method. Fiber keeps your bowel system regular and moving, which is what you want. Fruits are good! At the end of the day, you need to learn for yourself which foods work best for you. If you find yourself bottoming with a lot with different partners, PrEP is something you should consider taking.

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Ask your doctor. As for the damage done to your anal region? United States. Type keyword s to search. Today's Top Stories. An Accident Nearly Killed Me. Therapy Saved Me. Why do men bottom? You may be able to find the same content in another format, or you may be able to find more information, at their web site. Water-Based Lubricant 8. Lovehoney lovehoney. Anal Silicone Douche Bulb. Metamucil Fiber Supplement. Zachary Zane Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.

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